Happy Cancer Ward

Took charge of the GyneOnco ward for the past 2 weeks.

And its one of the liveliest I've been through! Despite having cancer, undergoing chemotherapy and radiotherapy, the patients are mostly cheerful and laughing. They are very friendly to us doctors. And some of them comel sangat! Seriously, its like taking care of big kids.

I'd like to think the condition is mostly due to our happy go lucky Dr Mary, our GyneOnco Specialist, who's strict with her time and care for patient's but at the same time maintain a cartoony and goofy part that makes her funny a lot of times. But mostly I like to think that patients over here (Sabah) are just like that, happy go lucky in nature.

I definitely had fun during my rotation here. Work's pretty relaxed too compared to the other wards.

Today one of my MOs treated all the patients with Conetto. Houseman not allowed to have some though but its ok. It's because watching patients happily licking on icecream is a wonderful sight. It's really adorable!

I recall one time my patient told us during rounds how she didn't mind spending money on supplements. "Kamu guna duit beli handfon, Iphone, barapa lama boleh hidup untuk guna? Kesihatan lagi penting." She told us that. What positive thinking.

On the sadder side, some patient's really look pathetic. I pity one who had feces pouring out her vagina due to a rectovaginal fistula she developed, from the cancer? or the radiotherapy shes being given? And patient's with no veins that us HOs have to poke multiple times and cause endless pain... "Duduk hospital makin sakit ada..." And some patients are dirt poor and they come a thousand miles away from treatment, that even after finishing treatment they have no money to pay to get back home. Chemotherapy cost thousands depending on the regimens. Treating cancer is not cheap. And it breaks your heart to see a recurrent case, cancer cells lying dormant after all that surgery and chemotherapy, the breaking news is indeed heartbreaking.

Taking care of a cancer ward opens everything. Your eyes, heart especially. Try switching places. You with the patient. Your mother with the patient. Will things be different?

Will it still be a happy cancer ward?

The Hands That Heal... Is not mine

Doctor's hand has the ability to heal people.

Rubbish.

My hands and the patient's are just the same, except for our fingerprints (subhanallah, a miracle), and whatever anatomical differences.

It cannot heal. Only Allah may heal people. My hands can only be guided to do good. Or bad.

If we look back retrospectively, how much good have we done with the hands given to us? Being doctors, we have that responsibility to use our hands for good and never for harm unless the benefits outweighs the harm such as in surgery. Our hands have that scary potential of causing harm to our patient's whom trust us to touch them. Very few occupation allows us to touch another person when that other person is not Muhrim or related to us. So heavy a doctors responsibility with his or her hands.

Since I started working as a doctor, oh how many mistakes I have caused, and the repercussions only Allah knows. I pray that Allah guide my hands to do good and avoid harm to self and others.

Peripheral neuropathies and rheumatoid arthritis bites. I pray that our hand function well so that we can continue to do good with them Insyallah.

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Changing Perspectives of People

Being a student, houseman, we tend to 'fear' certain MOs, specialist, consultants. When we fear these certain individuals, we avoid them, we paint very negative views of them, and we infect others with that views so that these people will carry a bad name wherever they go.

I think its not fair to them despite them being damn malignant, and moody. Sometimes we get a scolding for no reason, although I would like to think most with reasons. But these people may actually be nice if you talked to them and meet them outside of work. They are humans too, and being human they have their own characteristic that we may not like but however have to bear.

Here's an experience of mine.

A colleague of asked to switch oncalls with me as he had something that day. Thing is, that call was with an MO with a 'negative' reputation. HOs shudder at his name, and try as best as possible to avoid him. I heard of him even before I started my posting. My colleague couldn't find any other replacement as nobody wanted to be oncall with him. I accepted and just vowed to do my best whatever happens. Gotta face it someday anyway.

And guess what? I went through the oncall without any scolding at all. He listened to my presentations and we communicated well (I think). He even thought me how to do an ERPOC, which nobody wanted to do with him. All I had to do was to call him and ask his permission to perform the procedure and he said OK.

He did scold a few other of my colleagues (some quite severely) but somehow I went through well.

That colleague of mine who changed calls with me said a few days earlier that quite stuck to me, "If you do your work well, and did your best, you have nothing to fear and cannot be scolded. Even if you are, take it as a learning process."

Face it, we'll face people like this at anytime in our life. We just have to deal with them and there is no use in judging someone negatively as you will only react negatively which in the process make life more miserable, for you. I don't think the person gives a damn anyway.

It's easy for me to say this, but it's also a lesson for me.

It's not nice when people paint a negative perception of you. Try thinking positive and see things in a different light, and Insyallah things will improve and work will become less stressful.

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