Exhausting
Intense
Frustrating
Some of the various emotions one (I) experienced during my O&G posting here in KK, Sabah.
I knew it would be hard but never really knew how hard it would be.
First few days during tagging, I was depressed, tired and severely demotivated. Tagging puts us to work from 6.30am - 11 pm / 9pm. And during those times without transportations of our own, we were stuck in the hospital going back later than we meant to hithcing rides from Jai (MANY THANKS, UNREPAYABLE), and pirates (drebar keta).
How we suffered then.
Learning curve was steep. You were meant to learn to present cases well, refer early from PAC, post case for emergency caesarian, refer cases to pediatricians, collect information for statistics presentations, work fast enough. HORDES of mothers burst through the doors, and more offsprings burst through their *ahem* with some ending up not so favourably. And I was almost constantly screwed left right by my superiors. I was in constant fear. Of screwing up somewhere. Leaving a baby dead or ill, not acting fast enough to prevent a threatening maternal condition, not documenting enough, not presenting well enough in morning prayers missing information. I screwed up a lot.
Sometimes I felt like quitting. Alot of times I felt like quitting.
But I didn't. Not like I could.
So I held my head up high, because my pride demands me so, and do my best in whatever I could do. Which I believed later resulted in trust, respect and friendship among my superiors.
The posting also required teamwork and this put a tight bond among us, at least during work which forged new friendships. A lot of the people I met were of variable races, ages and in the midst of work, they matter not. Helping each other out was rewarding a lot of times whenever I can.
Despite what others say about O&G, I found it ironic that deep inside, I sort of enjoyed the posting. I built me up, toughened me somehow, and provided with a lot of experience I needed even though personally I did not think i learned enough.
If I could go back in time, I would like to spend more time doing a lot more Caesarian sections, cuz my current skill sucks. I'd like to perform more ERPOC on my own, and perform pipelle samplings and deliver more twins and breech. Not just for the fun of it, but because the skill is essential later on in the course of my work whether I'll end up in O&G or not.
My personal thanks to everyone I met. Nurses, fellow housemen, medical officers, specialists, consultants, patients, never ever forget the patients I've met. Without them, I would not come this far although I haven't actually gone anywhere far at all.
The last few days were fun, with O&G charity and O&G night.
My prayers that O&G dept, SWACH will continue to prosper and improve.
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